Like Rod I am completely baffled by the game of Football.  I'm sure it takes considerable skill to perform some of the elegant goals you occasionnaly see in the Readers Digest versions we get on the sports news at night, but for the life I me I cannot explain why anyone can sit through the remaining 89 minutes of utter boredom.

To make it worse, I've been surrounded by devotees of the "Beautiful Game" for the last month - either at work or socially - and even the most ardent of these fans will admit that it can be a tad tedious at times.

On the odd occassion that I have been tortured with more than a glance at the action it has inevitably been 0-0 in the 83rd minute, or some mumma's boy has tripped on a blade of sharp grass and ruptured his spleen.

Xenu gave us hands for a very good reason. FFS - just pick the damn ball up and run with it!